Chastity Belt
by Dotti3
Summary: The male members of Team 7 wish to guard their dear Sakura's virtue from the evils of men. Unfortunately, they make the mistake of assigning Itachi the task in their absence. As it turns out, he's not as asexual as everyone assumed him to be. Non-mass.
1. Chapter 1

**Chasity Belt**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

**Warnings:** Some language and lots of characters acting abnormally. My apologies! ;D

* * *

Sakura threw what she hoped to be an assuring smile at the young man fidgeting across from her. He tried to nervously reciprocate her smile, but faltered as his eyes veered to the ominous presence next to her. As the rosette continued to plaster on her strained smile, she arrived at a conclusion.

She hated her life.

Granted, there was plenty she loved about her life; her multitude of close knit friends and her numerous accomplishments exemplifying such cherished aspects. She had finally grown into a fine young woman and a kick ass kunoichi. And yes, much to her own personal triumph, she had also grown into her charming forehead.

Still, she hated her life.

Watching her former date flee after squeaking out some lame excuse, Sakura also decided that she hated her teammates. Sure she would undoubtedly take a kunai in the heart for any one of them, but at the moment, she was rather inclined to beat each and every one of those fools bloody; her own agenda to protect them be damned.

Silence settled over the area after the finicky male's hasty departure. Sakura sat frozen in place as if on pause and hoping to resume where she left off. When it became apparent that she had been bailed on again, Sakura slumped from her upright posture as she released her mouth from the forced upward curve she had maintained.

"There goes another one," Sakura could only mourn, sighing heavily and breaking the long silence.

And after observing Mr. tall, dark and handsome himself smirk proudly at his accomplishment, Sakura finally had another epiphany. She absolutely hated Uchiha Itachi as well.

* * *

Haruno Sakura was an absolute knock-out; both in looks and on the battlefield. She was what Gai would call the embodiment of youth and what Jiraiya would seek as a muse. Not to toot her own horn, but Sakura really had it going on.

Yet every single time she found herself interested in a specimen of the male species, said specimen was chased off. Every time she managed to land a date, planned chaos would ensue until the possible suitor ran for the hills. And no matter what she did, Sakura just couldn't win.

Everybody and their dog seemed to be finding love; literally as both Kiba and Akamaru had found their respective soul mates. Even the shy Hyuuga heiress had managed to snag the boy of her dreams despite herself and her over bearing clan. Though, it probably helped that the boy of her dreams had been Naruto. As far as she was concerned, Naruto was pretty much capable of anything; even winning over the pompous clan head and elders.

So if even Hinata had a boyfriend, than why in the hell was Sakura still single?

It's simple really. You see, she had way too much baggage in the form of four extremely annoying, ridiculously powerful, and obtusely protective teammates who were strongly opposed to their only female teammate having a love life. In their eyes, she was a sweet little princess and they were her knights in shining armor that had to protect her from the scary monsters of the world. She wondered how many times one had to be dropped on the head to arrive at such an outlandish, delusional conclusion.

Understanding the severe case of stupidity they suffered from, Sakura had tried her best as a medic to cure their affliction. She had heatedly debated with the lot of them about her right to do as she pleased and even staged an intervention to shake off their pig-headed habits. When none of this had worked, she moved onto more controversial and extreme methods. Unfortunately, the shinobi had grown used to her earthshattering beat downs.

She'll admit that she thought their protectiveness had been cute at first. But then again, she had also thought Sasuke had been cute as well until he opened his mouth and revealed himself to be a major asshole. Seeing as she was without a boyfriend and nearing her twenties, she had ruled her team nowhere near cute. She finally saw what their so called chivalry really was; cock-blocking.

It didn't help matters that everyone in the gossipy village of Konoha seemed fixated on the matter. Shinobi and civilian alike whispered of her single status and the unusual closeness shared by Team 7. Some had gone as far as to speculate that she was secretly dating one of them. However the most popular and the craziest rumor of all was that she was dating all four of them. It was every other girl's most fond dream, but her own personal, worst nightmare.

But as it was, she was dating no one; especially not her own team. She had utterly no interest in them and they in turn only showed interest in guarding her virtue valiantly. Sadly enough, they were doing a damn good job on their end. At this rate; she would die an old virgin.

Among those on her guard detail was her sensei/ father figure, the copy-cat ninja himself. Kakashi usually warded off her potential suitors by bragging of her inhuman strength and all of the powerful men she had brought down. Personally she didn't mind the compliments. However she did mind it when he started babbling about her notoriously short temper and her lack of control. It didn't help that Sai loved to butt in with comments of her manly strength and well-crafted insults aimed at the man in question. That alone usually deterred any average prospects.

And if Kakashi wasn't enough, Sasuke was always lurking in the background ready to flash those demonic looking red eyes of his. Not to be outdone, Yamato always had a flash light on hand as to whip out his creeper face. You'd be surprised at the number of grown men Sakura had seen pee themselves.

The few that had been brave enough to make it to the first date were met with sabotage from Naruto. From whoopi cushions to sexy-no-jutsu, the self-proclaimed future hokage was still the ultimate prankster. His personal favorite form of sabotage included the use of laxatives. On that note, you'd also be surprised at the amount of full grown men that had shit themselves in front of Sakura.

Meddling teammates aside, Sakura was still adamant in her ways of finding her other half. When her beloved Shishou had banished the boys on a week-long scouting mission without her, Sakura had felt as if even the heavens were rooting for her happily ever after. But as it seems, fate roots for no one. Case in point, her teammates had passed on cock-blocking duties to none other than the one and only Uchiha Itachi.

She might as well start collecting cats, because after a week under his guard, she's sure no man will ever venture her way again.

* * *

When his foolish little brother and his little friends had first approached him with the mission of babysitting Haruno Sakura, Itachi had found himself puzzled. The last he checked, Sakura was a very capable woman and an even more capable kunoichi. He didn't see why her teammates would go so far as to enlist his aid in watching the pinkette in their absence. He was quite sure that her own skills would be more than adequate to defend herself; especially within the relatively safe confines of Konoha.

Itachi had politely declined the request as he saw no logic in accepting. But the pesky members of Team 7 continued to persist in their bothering and pestering until even the great Uchiha prodigy caved. If confronted on the matter, Itachi would flat out lie and cite lack of sleep and general boredom as reasons for his acceptance of the menial job. It had nothing to do with Sasuke's puppy dog eyes or the fact that he found Doctor Haruno rather interesting; nothing at all.

But as he was confronted by Sakura's attractively flustered face and her attempt at defiance, Itachi had to admit to himself that he would probably enjoy following around the amusing apprentice of the hokage. As if hearing his private thoughts, the feisty kunoichi flipped him the bird and vanished in a swirl of leaves. And thus began an unusual and interesting, weeklong game of cat and mouse.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So there is the first installment of what I believe to be a two-shot or a possible three-shot. The next chapter will be solely focused on the game of cat and mouse and Sakura's attempted dates (which you got a taste of at the very top).

Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying this and I apologize for any errors. And I hate to pester you lovely readers out there, but please be a dear and leave me some love. Please don't be afraid to fav and alert or review for that matter. You don't need to have an account to review and it doesn't have to be long at all. Even a simple ";D" or a curt "update asap" inspires me to write on; plus it makes me all sorts of happy. **;D So thank you!**

**Ps**- This is perhaps not my place, but my heart goes out to anyone who had a rough day yesterday. Don't let it steal your sunshine and stay golden. I send my love to y'all!

**~Sincerely Dotti3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chasity Belt**

**Disclaimer:** I still do not own anything. :(

**Warnings:** Some language and a bit of fluff; they balance each other out I think. ;D

A couple of days ago, I came back from a particularly crappy day to discover that I had 17 reviews. I began to hyperventilate with happiness. Had I not been sitting, I'm sure I would have fallen flat on my ass. But you know what? I still would have been smiling. And to my amazement, the number only continued to grow. You guys have really turned my frown upside down!

I usually give thanks to each individual, but I'll be unable to update for two days and I didn't want to keep you lovely people waiting any longer. But I want you all to know, that I am very grateful to all those who faved, alerted, viewed, and reviewed this. **Thank you** from the bottom of my bottomless corazon!

* * *

After pulling off her little disappearing act and possibly offending the entirety of the Uchiha clan, Sakura roamed the streets of Konoha with a bounce in her step. She still didn't know how, but she had managed to give the prodigy the slip. Let it be noted that Houdini had nothing on her and her ninja-ness. Adding to her utter happiness, her teammates were away and she had every intention to play. Starting with that little stud-muffin at the bakery…he looked like he needed some buttering.

"So," Sakura stalked up to her future boy toy gaining his attention. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to go about asking him out. She rarely got to that part when her annoying team was around so she was at a loss for how to continue. Oddly enough, the only thing that came to mind was one of Naruto's stupid pick-up lines. She firmly shoved that idea away as she didn't want to come off as a complete weirdo. It would seem that even miles away, her beloved fools were running interference.

Luckily for her, the cutie pie in front of her needed no prompting. "So uh…you're pretty…wanna go out?"

Sure, she would have liked it if he had introduced himself first, but nonetheless, her inner woman rejoiced with victory. She nodded to indicate her answer and proceeded to swap info with the guy mentally marking the day and time of their date on the calendar of her mind.

Bouncing away with even more girly glee, Sakura nearly stumbled when her shinobi senses started to tingle. Someone was watching her. And she wasn't referring to old pervert checking out her ass either.

She really should have known better. Itachi was nothing if not a professional. So she really shouldn't have been surprised to feel him conducting surveillance from some unseen vantage point. The worst part? She knew for a fact that had he wanted to, she wouldn't have sensed him at all. But for whatever reason, he had made his presence known. Even Sai's fake smiles paled in comparison to that kind of creepy.

So without further ado, Sakura ran for her life; her love life that is.

* * *

Hours later, one thoroughly exhausted and ruffled medic trudged into the Yamanaka flower shop defeated. Accompanying her, the all-too-perfect Uchiha gracefully glided next to her. Not a damn hair of his was out of place. Sakura had never been so jealous.

Ino, ever the good friend, promptly shoved Sakura out of the way in favor of drooling at her sexy shadow. "Can I borrow your clan symbol?" the blonde said as she fanned herself with her hand, "Because it just got hot in here~"

In the face of her blonde moment, Sakura face palmed. Itachi continued his deadpan stare at Ino until she finally got the point and stopped flapping her hand at herself idiotically. Seeing her usually persistent rival falter in her advances, Sakura realized the reason the Uchiha heir lacked a fan club.

"So," the piglet tried to change the subject as she turned to finally address the pinklet, "What's he doing here?"

"Ughhh," the flustered female threw her arms up in frustration, "Chasing away the male population."

Understanding the dilemma posed by her big fore-headed friend's over-protective teammates, the platinum blonde could only offer her condolences. Out of all the kunoichi's, Sakura had been the most coddled and cock-blocked. It was only a matter of time before all the suppressed hormones took control and wreaked havoc on Konoha. And since Naruto was already occupied, there would be no sealing the rampaging beast.

In the last couple of hours Sakura had spent trying to pick-up guys, she had only secured one date. Things were looking down for our sexually frustrated protagonist. That was until something miraculous happened; Ino got an idea.

It wasn't one of her silly schemes either. It was a genuinely intelligent suggestion. "Well then my billboard browed buddy," Ino smiled sardonically, "I'll be seeing you tomorrow."

And without further explanation, Sakura and Itachi were kicked to the curb as Ino closed down the shop. Even so, Sakura could only share a similar smirk; she knew that crazy blonde wouldn't let her down. Beside her, the shinobi world's finest could only narrow his eyes in suspicion.

* * *

Sakura had turned in shortly after seeing Ino. Itachi, ever the stalker and gentleman, had escorted her all the way to her door. He had even picked her lock for her when she discovered she had left her keys inside. She didn't know whether she should have been thankful or threatened.

Shooing him off to watch from afar, she went about her nightly beauty routine before succumbing to slumber. It had been a tiring day and she desperately needed some beauty sleep. However, fate had different plans as proven by her rude wake up call.

"Get your lazy ass out of bed," Sakura dimly noted the shriek to be Ino's, "I got a plan."

Sakura rolled over and attempted to drown out the banshee. "You said you would see me tomorrow. It's not tomorrow. Besides, your plans always suck."

"You suck," Ino childishly retorted, sticking out her tongue even though it went unseen, "And for your information, it's 12:02 a.m. which is officially the tomorrow I was talking about."

"That's misleading," Sakura yawned out, blearily glaring at her clock.

"I'm a ninja," Ino excused herself, "Anyway, your guard dog turned in for the night."

"So?" the sleep deprived Sakura couldn't register the importance.

"So?" Ino seemed a bit miffed, "Get your sexy on, because we're going clubbing."

"Bad idea," Sakura retorted, "He'll find us."

"Uchiha Itachi," Ino annunciated slowly to get through Sakura's enlarged forehead, "Club. I don't think so."

Finally fitting the pieces together Sakura could only laugh a little evilly. Ino was a genius, because there was no way Itachi would follow. He wouldn't dare.

* * *

Despite the buzz she was sporting and the rather revealing outfit Ino had forced on her, Sakura had yet to snag herself a man. There were plenty who were obviously interested, but Sakura was too busy dancing her heart out in the crowd. It had been forever since she had been this free, so she decided she'd continue her shopping a little later. After all, the market would be open all night.

So there she was, living it up like there was no tomorrow until she spotted her next target through the chaos of flashing lights and pumping music. From her current distance, she could barely see him as he hid in the shadows, but she saw enough to know he was by far the most attractive man she had ever seen. Screw dancing, that sex god was hers.

He wasn't dancing or drinking, which struck her as odd, but her buzzed mind quickly pushed the information aside. Smiling coyly and moving her hand in a 'come here' signal, Sakura squealed inwardly as the mystery male ambled out of the shadows and into her personal space. When the shadows no longer cloaked his appearance, Sakura began to back pedal, only to be stopped as muscled arms loosely encircled her around the waist.

"Hello Sakura-san," Mr. tall, dark and handsome spoke quietly revealing his scarlet hues. Apparently Itachi had dared though he didn't look too happy to be there. Sakura could only break off into nervous giggles.

* * *

"Wanna dance?" the Uchiha only raised an eyebrow at her question, "Well then how 'bout a drink or three?"

"Hn," the party pooper rejected. Honestly, Sakura couldn't fathom why she had ventured to his side of the room. And to think, she had wanted to do very inappropriate things to him.

After being caught red handed, Sakura had retreated to the bar to drown her miseries with alcohol. As of now, she was about to break her own record; Tsunade would be proud. But no matter how much her vision blurred, the silent and admittedly sexy shinobi would not go away. It also didn't stop her from seeing glimpses of Ino as her pretty piggy pal twirled about freely on the dance floor.

"Seriously," she slurred over the word a bit, "You need a drink."

"And you don't need anymore," he scolded as he stole her current concoction and poured it out.

"Wasteful bastard," she could only grumble at the loss of her beverage, "Someone could slip and fall and break their hip."

Right as she finished her prophecy, it came true in the form of an unfortunate party-goer. He slipped, he fell, but his hip remained unbroken which was one check short of her list. But Sakura didn't care about that, because the victim was of the male species, decently good looking and in flirting range which was the all the qualifications on the list that mattered.

"So uh," she trailed off, unsure of how to commence wooing him over. Again Naruto's pick-up lines came to the fore front of her mind, but this time she was too drunk to rule out using them. So without further debate, Sakura went on to humiliate herself.

"I think he farted," she motioned at Itachi who couldn't even grunt a 'hn' in self-defense, "Let's get out of here."

As the young man bolted away, Sakura proceeded to pout. She had brought that one on herself. Itachi hadn't even needed to intervene in any way. That didn't mean she hated him any less though.

"You know," Sakura began glumly, "All I want is to go out on one date with a boy. I'm tired of all this crap. I know I'm being silly. And I know it's slutty to throw yourself at guys. And damn it, I know that I shouldn't care because I'm a kunoichi. But I just want to hold hands and talk and get a kiss goodnight on my door step. Is that so much to ask?"

Sakura was three sheets to the wind and on the verge of tears. And for once in his life, Itachi had no idea what to do.

"What's your favorite color?" he finally broke the silence that had settled.

"Huh?" the pinkette's intoxicated mind took a while to compute the situation. When she finally did, a bashful smile bloomed across her face, "Red I think. Yours?"

And so they (yes even Itachi) talked. About likes and dislikes. About random stuff. About stupid teammates. And about life.

After a particularly intriguing conversation where they compared notes on outrageous things their comrades had done, Sakura found herself lulled into oblivion. The drinks had finally caught up to her and left her passed out at the counter. Itachi could only sigh; he had rather enjoyed her company.

Seeing as the Yamanaka had long since vanished, it was solely up to Itachi to deliver her into the safety of her home. So he scooped her up like her future groom would only to frown at the idea of the supposed future groom. Pushing the thought aside, he toted the pink-haired princess to her tower to be locked away again. That thought didn't sit well with him either.

Using his shinobi skills as he had before, he picked her lock and let himself in. Locating her room after a few hit and misses (because he didn't actually know everything; he just knew most things), he was able to deposit the unconscious cargo in her snuggly bed. Ridding her of painful footwear and tucking her in for good measure, Itachi found his job done for the night. However, he felt the need to linger as he was drawn back to her bedside.

And just for the hell of it, he gave her a kiss goodnight on that charming forehead of hers before finally leaving.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I warned you that there would be fluff~ I made this update extra-long just for all of you wonderful people out there. I was originally going to cut off at Itachi finding her at the club, but you guys have been so great! **Thank you** once again for all the love and support! Please keep it coming as it inspires me so much **:D**

It's not over yet; there's still one more chapter (which is going to be loads fun).

I really hope this made you smile and I wish you a pleasant day with even more smiles that follow. Flaunt them pearly whites proudly!

**~Sincerely Dotti3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chastity Belt**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Warning:** I write like a sailor curses. ;D

**A/N:** I had a hard time getting the ball rolling on this one, but I was able to overcome that by reading all the wonderful reviews I received. I love you guys! Thank you wonderful readers and reviewers for all the lovely support! I feel so spoiled! I can't tell you enough what it means to me. Thank you!

Btw, thanks to Guest for pointing out that Chasity is really Chastity. I had forgotten a t. Sorry!

* * *

Naruto had a bad feeling; a really bad feeling. And so, he told his bestest friend in the whole wide world.

"Dobe," he didn't need to see the young Uchiha's face to know he was rolling those prized sharigan eyes of his.

"Listen teme," Naruto tried to level him a serious gaze, "My gut is telling me something's off."

"You ate too much ramen," Sasuke deadpanned and proceeded to diagnose, "You're sick."

The ramen lover practically fell over himself in shock. As if there was such a thing as 'too much ramen'; he considered even the thought to be blasphemy. And who did Sasuke think he was? Last time Naruto had cared to check, the sour puss didn't have pink hair, green eyes or a nice rack and was therefore unqualified to make such accusations. "Shut up bastard. You're not Sakura and you never will be no matter how girly you are."

"I wonder how Sakura-san's doing," Yamato quickly cut in, hoping the new topic would derail the impending fight between the two rivals. The brunette sent his sempai a pleading look which was steadfastly ignored as the latter was busily 'reading'. It was days like these when Yamato felt akin to an overburdened housewife whose lazy husband ignored her in favor of reading the news; except the only reading Kakashi did was of the smut variety.

As luck would have it, the topic change was a success and the fight was diverted for now. At the mention of the cherry blossom, Naruto's bad feeling from before only intensified. "I hope she's okay."

"Tch," Sasuke scoffed openly, "of course she's okay. My aniki's the best there is.-"

At this point, the rest of the males of Team 7 temporarily tuned out. They had heard many variations of Sasuke's hero-worshipping sppeches about Itachi's supposed greatness. The boy had a serious brother complex.

"I'm just saying," the orange clad ninja pointedly cut off his friend's rant, "Sakura-chan's a very pretty girl and so is your brother," at the sight of Sasuke's outraged sharigan eyes, he quickly back pedaled, "-that is-I mean- Obviously your brother's not a chick. And he's not pretty at all. I meant he's very good-looking- Wait, not like that. I don't swing that way."

"Don't worry dickless," the pale artist-nin cut in, trying to reassure his friend. He had come across the idea in a book about peace keeping. Unfortunately, his next words weren't quite conductive to diffusing the situation. "Hag is ugly. Traitor's brother will still be on the market for you."

Yamato could only gape in astonishment at the lack of Sai's social grace. Naruto's face flushed in a mixture of sudden sickness and anger while Sasuke sputtered in outrage, torn between who to attack first. Ever blissful in his ignorance, Kakashi only moved to flip a page.

After several moments of explosive outbursts, the chaos gradually died down. Even so, the village idiot persisted in making his concerns known. "I'm just saying what if your brother gets the hots for our innocent Sakura-chan and tries to seduce her?"

Sasuke almost laughed at the absurd statement. "Yeah. Like that will ever happen."

The hokage wannabe had to agree with his rival's reasoning. As far as anyone knew, the Uchiha heir was asexual and almost emotionless. Still, Naruto's stomach continued to twist ominously.

* * *

Mikoto could only stare amusedly as she spied her eldest son nit-picking at his reflection. The Uchiha Matriarch had been intending on inviting her son down for a cup of tea and conversation (in which she would pester him about his lack of love life). However, she had discovered her boy to be rather preoccupied in the process of primping.

As of now, he had yet again released his silken hair only to begin tying it back again. This marked the seventh time already. And the ever observant, lethal shinobi had yet to notice her at his bedroom door. Mikoto could barely contain her squeal of happiness. Her son was in love, she concluded.

"What's up with little Ita-chan?"

Ignoring the disturbed tone of her nephew, the raven haired beauty could only beam proudly, "He's in love."

Shisui could only raise his eyebrows in pure incredulity. He really suspected that his dear Auntie had fallen off her rocker. He supposed all those years surrounded by stoic Uchiha males had finally driven her crazy.

"With who?" he asked, deciding to humor her.

He immediately regretted this as Mikoto's face lit up with a slightly evil smirk, "I don't know, but you're going to find out. Consider it punishment for sneaking in and swiping the onigiri without asking."

"How did you-" he trailed off as his aunt pointedly gestured to the rice still on his face. And here Shisui had thought he had gotten away with murder.

Grudgingly he made his way over to pester information out of his little cousin. Slapping on a ridiculous grin, he did something only a select few could get away with by yanking on Itachi's precious hair. "Why so dressed up? Does my wittle baby cuz have a hot date tonight?" he drawled out teasingly.

Seeming to collect himself from his previously hectic state of mind, the usually apathetic Uchiha gave a blank look. "It's not a date. I have a mission."

"I'm sure," the older male bit sarcastically, "So who's the lucky gal?"

Itachi could only sigh. "I've been assigned to watch ototou's female teammate."

"You mean that feisty, hot medic with the pink hair and nice body-" Shisui was quick to amend as Itachi's eyes narrowed slightly, "…body healing skills."

"Haruno Sakura," Itachi corrected.

"So you've been assigned by the hokage to guard her apprentice?" Shisui asked in confusion.

The long-haired shinobi shook his head slightly. "My foolish younger brother and his equally foolish friends asked me to."

"So," the elder of the two continued awkwardly at the undetected, eavesdropping Mikoto's prompting, "Why are you getting all dressed up?"

As the accused made to defend himself, the prosecutor charged on. "And don't deny it. You're wearing the color red."

"I wear red all the time," the weasel tried to weasel his way out of the question.

"Blood doesn't count cuz," Shisui could only sigh in exasperation. Itachi said nothing in reply.

"So," Shisui closed in, seeing an opportunity, "Let me be your wing man. With my help, you'll know if that pink hair's natural by the end of the night."

Promptly after those words were said, Shisui found himself trapped in Tsukuyomi.

* * *

When Shisui finally came to again, he was met with the sight of his aunt's angelic face and her smile full of evil intentions. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

Though respect for his elders had been ingrained into him from an early age, he couldn't help but to glower at the clan matriarch.

"Now don't be like that Shisui-chan," her voice chimed with the sweetness of bells.

The usually more talkative Uchiha kept his mouth firmly shut. He knew exactly what his aunt wanted and he did not feel like being brutally murdered today.

"I'll make you a batch of onigiri," she bribed.

Shisui had to admit that it was a bit tempting, but he wasn't nearly that suicidal. "Your demon spawn just tortured me for 72 hours straight."

Mikoto's hackles rose at the referring of her baby boy as a demon spawn. Her dark eyes promised more murder than any sharingan he had ever encountered. Wisely, Shisui was quick to accept her little assignment.

On the bright side, iff Shisui lived to tell the tale, he was sure he would be a legend. On the darker- than-Itachi's- soul side, the odds were stacked against him and his survival chances weren't looking too good. His mission was to flirt with Ms. Danger herself and to somehow survive the wrath of a pissed off anbu captain.

He was going to make Itachi jealous or die trying.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know I kept you guys waiting for far too long and that this probably wasn't long or good enough to satisfy your cravings, but I needed this one to set up next chapter. And next chapter is going to be wickedly fun and have **Sakura & Itachi** goodness! I solemnly swear like a sailor!

Originally, I had planned for this to be a long oneshot, but then it morphed into three chapters and now I think I see it being five chapters long. My outline seems to keep growing. And I don't even know how Shisui ninja-ed his way into the script. It just happened.

Anywho, please drop some loving because it inspires me to work so much harder. Feedback, ideas and constructive criticism are very much welcomed. As I like to say, you don't need an account and it can be as simple as a brief 'update'. Either way, I will be more than delighted to know that someone enjoys it.

So don't be afraid, because I don't bite…unless you want me to **;D**

**Thak you for taking the time to drop by! Have a really good day and stay safe. Y'all take care!**

**~Sincerely Dotti3**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I would like to thank all who have so kindly read, alerted, faved and reviewed this story. Seriously, **thank you** guys soooo much! It's because of all the loving support that Chasity Belt has made it this far. I really appreciate all the kind words and entertaining comments and input. I'm truly honored, so thank you for being such great readers and supporters. I **love** you guys just too much for words!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Even if I did, I would still write fanfics ;D

**Warnings:** Mild language and lots of craziness.

* * *

Sakura was having a pretty sucky day.

After Itachi had figuratively pooped on her party last night, she had winded up in the comforts of her own bed in her own room which was just fine and dandy. However, she realized that Itachi must have had to cart her drunken ass home which was quite embarrassing to imagine. And just thinking of the eldest Uchiha trudging through her messy house was enough to mortify the pinkette. For crying out loud, she had bras and undies scattered about everywhere.

Absolute embarrassment aside, Sakura was at least optimistic enough to note that she had woken up safely and snuggly in her own bed. If it weren't for Itachi, she reasoned she probably would have passed out in the street. Sure, he was kind of the reason she was currently miserable, but it was nice of him to tuck her in. Now that she thought about it, the stoic male was kind of sweet.

Shortly after that revelation, Sakura became sick. Literally.

As her head pounded with a vengeance and her nausea rose, the unfortunate female could only bemoan her stupid actions. And to think, she had a hot date later on in the day. The last thing she needed was a stupid hangover to start out the day. But alas, she spent her morning suffering.

To make matters worse, her body guard showed up at around noon looking just dashing in her favorite color. She had never seen the silent shinobi in anything other than black and so the sight was quite refreshing. Stubborn as she was, she had to admit that the Uchiha looked pretty damn hot. Then again, he looked that way in every variation of the rainbow.

So in essence, poor little Sakura was looking all troll-like while Itachi personified the image of a sex god. Adding insult to injury, aforementioned god of sexiness curtly informed her that he would be escorting her on her date. Life just really wasn't fair to the pink haired kunoichi.

* * *

Over an hour later of primping and prepping, our heroine still didn't measure up to the beauty of the elder Uchiha. But she did come pretty damn close. God of a man that Itachi is, she felt that even he would struggle to keep the male population away from her in her current sizzling state. Hell, at this rate, he would have to restrain himself. Life was suddenly looking up for the sole female of Team 7.

The dynamic duo arrived at the designated destination five minutes before the designated time. They proceeded to patiently wait for ten minutes. But then another ten minutes passed. And another. However, Sakura's Romeo was nowhere in sight. Therefore, life was back to being an absolute asshole again.

By this point in time, Sakura had resorted to impatiently tapping her foot and glancing at the clock every few seconds. It didn't really help that the mute male beside her kept sending her questioning glances and raising his well-shaped eyebrows. Let it be noted that Itachi didn't need words to get a point across.

"Sakur-" he began to intone, only for the mentioned girl to snappishly interrupt.

"He's just a little late."

Thirty more minutes went by and yet her date was still a no-show. This had happened to the cherry blossom before more times than she cared to count. Even so, she was still steadfastly waiting, because there was absolutely no way Haruno Sakura had got all dolled up for nothing. Most importantly, there was just no effin' way Haruno Sakura had been stood up in front of Uchiha Itachi.

"Perhaps we should get a table?" the Uchiha heir suggested politely. The forlorn female could only nod in agreement. She only had enough spunk left to insist to the host that it would be a party of three. Even the host had enough sense to give her a pitying look.

Just like the gentleman his mother had raised him to be, he smoothly pulled out her chair for her. And just like the tomboy her shishou had trained her to be, she not so smoothly sprawled into her seat. After finishing his chivalrous deed, the raven haired male proceeded to gracefully seat himself to the left of her at their little round table. Sneaking a glance at his proper, upright posture, Sakura could only bring herself to sigh and slump even more.

Looking on the bright side of things, our leading lady was content to note that she was beautifully dressed, eating at a fancy restaurant and accompanied by a gorgeous guy. What more could a girl wish for right? As if in tuned to her thoughts, Itachi turned to meet her gaze with his smoldering onyx hues.

Before she could swoon and melt into a pile of mush, the hokage's apprentice promptly shook herself silly. It was easy to get lost in day dreams, but she had to remind herself that the handsome man before her was only her temporary guardian. In other words, he was totally not into her and that their current predicament was akin to a pity date.

Sakura was all too familiar with pity dates. After the countless disastrous dates her team had sabotaged, they always made an effort to somehow woo her over again. Naruto always insisted on dragging her along as the third wheel on his dates with Hinata which was just as awkward as it sounds. Sasuke occasionally attempted to bribe her over by throwing money at her; she was ashamed to admit that it was a tactic that often worked. Kakashi-sensei would invariably promise to take her out to dinner only to show up hours late or not at all which led to Yamato-taicho often having to step up in his place. And though Sai offered, she refused as she had enough common sense to know it would be a hellish experience for the both of them. So to sum it up, Sakura was well versed with receiving pity when it came to her lack of a love life.

So she decided to ignore his mesmerizing gaze and his stunning good looks. Only a minute into her silent vow, her eyes were magically drawn to the dark orbs of the figure to her left. Sighing in resignation, she reasoned that some people were just too damn pretty for their own good; especially Uchiha Itachi.

* * *

Itachi was rather pleased with the current happenings.

Earlier in the day, he had been graced with the all too amusing sight of one severely rumpled and hung-over pinkette. And just an hour after that, he had seen her transform into the woman currently sitting to his right. Though she had initially been reluctant to converse with him after having been ditched, she had finally relented and dissolved into story telling mode.

As of now, they were currently engaged in a heated debate regarding morals or some such matter. To be honest, the elder Uchiha wasn't paying much attention to the context of their verbal spar, but rather the interesting way in which Sakura's cheeks flushed and the way her voice argued her point strongly. The long haired male was surprised to note that the kunoichi was just as entertaining sober as she had been when plastered.

Just as the two shinobi were immersed in their own little world of discussion, Itachi was abruptly pulled out of his trance when an unwanted intrusion began approaching their table. As his luck would have it, Sakura's date had finally showed up. Before his crafty mind could formulate a plan to whisk her out unnoticed, the oaf of a male lumbering towards them caught sight of the eye catching pink hair and called out for her.

Turning around to the sound of her name, the previously enraptured Sakura lit up with a smile, seemingly forgetting all about her escort. For once in his life, Itachi felt something akin to anger. It was almost as if-

He immediately shut that idea down, because there was just no way he was jealous of some senseless boy. Uchiha Itachi did not get jealous.

But as the tardy male sloppily planted a kiss on the delighted rosette's hand, the Uchiha's mood only worsened. With that in mind, he deviously dreamed up the destruction of the date unfolding before him. If Sakura had thought her team was bad, she hadn't seen anything yet.

Oh, but she would soon.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I've been really stressed as of late, so I apologize for everything in general. I've been self-medicating through reading copious amounts of fics and books. I'd like to report my treatment plan has worked wonders, but that I'm still a bit overwhelmed with life right now.

In good news, Chasity Belt might soon reach its exciting end. And Shisui definitely shows up to disturb the peace next installment. While I think I can wrap everything up next chapter, it might stretch to a six shot. I also have an idea for another fic that would act as an epilogue to this. Please let me know what you think about all that as I always welcome opinions.

Anywho, please continue to pour in the love, because like I blubbered earlier, it means the world to me. Like I like to say, it doesn't need to be long and you don't even need an account to review and inspire me. Once again, **thank you** all for reading this and sticking with me for so long **;D**

**~Dotti3**

**Ps-** Please have a good day free of stress, And everybody, please be just so careful out there in the big, bad world. Truly, take good care. **Te amo darlings~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chastity Belt**

**A/N:** It's been a long time huh? So first off, I would like to say just how **sorry** I am for disappearing like that. You guys have just been the kindest and most supportive readers ever and I feel so terrible and ashamed for disappointing you guys. I'm so very sorry and I just hope you all can forgive me.

Secondly, I would like to **thank you** for all the supportive favs, follows, reviews and messages. You guys are really the best. I really feel both immensely happy and guilty when I look at all the love this little fic has garnered. Once again, I'm really sorry for the long wait and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Though I love **Naruto**, I do not own it.

**Warnings:** Lots of out of character characters and some suggestive and strange implications.

* * *

Things had been going great.

After the initial awkward apologies and explanations, Sakura and her belated date had sat down to enjoy a lovely little dinner complete with fancy food, sparkling conversation and one very pissed off anbu captain over-seeing the entire ordeal. Despite the scary shinobi sulking silently, everything had been running smoothly.

Please notice the past tense.

"Damn," Sakura's beau hissed lightly as his plate became engulfed in a mountain of pepper due to the mysteriously loosened shaker lid. Itachi watched on with evil glee to which Sakura sent a subtle scowl. She knew exactly what he was up to, but she wasn't about to let her dream date be ruined, despite the Uchiha's immature antics.

"Sorry about that," Sakura smiled sweetly, covertly kicking the man responsible under the table. Thinking quickly, she pushed her own plate between them. "How about we share?"

Her escort instantly smiled in acceptance, prompting the two to scoot closer. Beyond pissed, the third wheel shot a downright scary glare at his soon to be victim.

Still, her date remained blissfully unaware of the glowing, almost sharigan red orbs glowering his way. This may have to do with the fact that her suitor was busy looking elsewhere. That elsewhere just happened to be Sakura's chest. As you can only imagine, she was less than charmed.

And as for her guard dog, he was practically foaming at the mouth. He really should have had that rabies shot.

Before she could casually remind him where her eyes were and just seconds before Itachi slaughtered the man, the male in question seemed to snap out of his daze and met her own gaze apologetically. Pushing aside her feminine ire, Sakura sighed dreamily as the two love birds stared deeply into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. However, the moment was cut short when a familiar profile edged its way in between the couple.

Having finally noticed the Uchiha, but failing to observe the barely concealed killer intent emanating from him, Sakura's date shot her a perverse grin, "Well…I didn't know you were that sort of gal."

"Pardon?" Sakura questioned, pink brows contorting to show confusion.

"Oh you know…" her suitor wiggled his brows in response, "the kinky kind."

Sakura, appalled by the accusation, nearly did a spit take. Even the supposedly emotionless Itachi visibly reacted in shock. The oblivious male decided to dutifully dig deeper into his own grave.

"I've never been in a threesome, but if that's what you want…" he trailed off, shooting a wink to both shinobi as the color drained from their faces.

Sizing up Itachi with a look that made the stoic male's skin crawl, the lecher continued, "I'd rather he be a she, but with that long hair and pretty face, I don't think I'll mind much."

Sakura was torn between disgust and outright laughter as Itachi appeared to be having some sort of aneurism. Sure, perhaps everyone could agree that Itachi did have some rather feminine qualities, but no one had ever had the guts to actually say it out loud. Though her date had turned out to be a disgusting perv, Sakura couldn't help but to pity him for what was surely about to happen to him. She could only hope that the Uchiha would be considerate enough to keep the blood shed to a minimum. Afterall, as a kunoichi she knew that blood stains were a bitch to get out.

Just as Itachi was about to raise absolute hell, a waitress timidly cut in to present the bill. Sakura's date continued to push his luck as he shamelessly flirted with the waitress right in front of Sakura. As if that wasn't more than enough already, he had the audacity to hand Sakura the check. Clearly this guy had never heard of chivalry.

Sakura was all for equality among men and women and women independence. Admittedly, she would have been touched had he opted to pay, but she would have been just as satisfied if he had offered to at least pay his part. However, it appeared that the scum expected her to foot the bill entirely.

Did she look like she was made of money or something? Did she give off the impression of being a sugar momma? Honestly, Sakura didn't have any money on her person at all. Her boys had spoiled her as they always insisted on paying for her meals on all of her failed dates and social outings. Naturally, Sakura had made the mistake of assuming that her date would do the same. Well, judging from her suitor's expectant gaze, she had obviously been wrong.

Before she could embarrass herself and reveal her inability to pay, Itachi smoothly snatched the ticket from her. Sakura could only breathe a sigh of relief and send a grateful smile to Itachi, as he paid the bill. Really, seeing how well she knew the Uchiha family, she should have known better. After all, Mikoto had raised her sons to be the perfect gentlemen, though she might have had better success with her first born. In the Uchiha Matriarch's defense, Sasuke was as stubborn as they came.

Back to the present, the two shinobi were quickly losing patience with Sakura's supposed date. As if his previous offences weren't enough, the douche was now blatantly flirting with and leering at the waitress. Really, this guy was just asking for it. Surely between Sakura and Itachi, the two could take him out and dispose of his corpse without anybody finding out about it. Even if they were caught, surely they would only get a slap on the wrist because of their own respective connections with the Uchiha clan and the Hokage herself. But then again, could that drunkard Tsunade really be counted on? Perhaps she would enlist her team's assistance, because kami knows they would want the guy dead if they knew about him. A sudden, dangerous spike in chakra pulled Sakura from her plans of getting away with murder.

As it would seem from his activated sharigan, Itachi had officially reached his boiling point with their dinner guest. It seems while she was lost in her own murderous thoughts, the soon to be dead man had further aggravated the situation by inviting the waitress to make their alleged threesome into a foursome. Apparently, the fool had found it necessary to cozy up to the Uchiha and pull his hair whilst doing so. Thus, Itachi was about to unleash a wrath more feared than hell itself.

Finally seeming to wise up to his situation and the imminent danger he was in, Itachi's next victim had the decency to go pale with fear.

"I suggest you leave."

Itachi's lowly murmured suggestion was surprisingly heeded, as the now frightened young man stumbled away as fast as he could. The male's haste was probably in part due to the now churning tomoes of Itachi's sharigan. Though she was relieved at the pesky guy's absence, she was not too happy with the pee puddle and the pissed off anbu captain he left in his retreat. Sakura could only hope that the irate Uchiha's anger would soon vanish along with her disastrous date.

"I'm so sorry Itachi-san," Sakura nearly sighed as she slumped in resignation. "I really know how to pick them, huh? I'm a dating disaster."

Now back to their just as smoldering dark color, Itachi's eyes met hers prompting her next meekly whispered words. "I'm really glad you're here."

"I am too, Sakura-san."

Sakura's heart skipped a beat at his reply, as his gaze seemed to burn into her very being. Either she was going through a premature case of menopause or the whole fire country had caught fire, because a simple stare shouldn't be capable of producing such heat. But then again, this was Itachi Uchiha.

Nervous and in need of a subject change, Sakura began to rant. "I'm really sorry you got roped into all of this. I swear this won't happen again. In fact, I can guarantee that this will never happen again. After today, I'm swearing off dating men completely. From now on, I'll only go for women."

After Sakura's embarrassing impromptu speech sputtered to an end, silence reigned supreme for a few unbearable minutes. Before Sakura could proceed to humiliate herself by rambling further, Itachi spoke first.

"I've been told that I resemble a woman," his calm voice delivered unwaveringly as he remained straight-faced.

'Was that his attempt to tell a joke? If so, should she laugh? But what if it wasn't a joke and she offended him by obnoxiously laughing at him? Wait a moment. Why would he confess to looking like a woman right after I swore off men?' Sakura mentally debated. Her warring thoughts came to a tumultuous halt as she became aware of a new possibility. ' What if he was–'

"Flirting with Sakura-chan? " Sakura jolted in her seat as a familiar voice finished her inner musings out loud. Sakura turned towards the direction of the comment, just in time to see Itachi getting his hair pulled by the one person who could get away with such a thing.

"Konoha's most eligible bachelor at your service my dear," the self-titled 'most eligible bachelor' proclaimed as he winked at her. "Mind if I join the party?"

Shisui Uchiha had officially entered the fray.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So Shisui's joined the party finally and the forecast for next chapter looks promising. I really hated to cut this chapter off there, but I felt that it was a perfect set up for what's to ensue. I think there's just one more chapter to go, so you can expect a lot of fireworks for the finale.

Once again, I'm **sorry** for leaving so abruptly. I have not written or read anything since my last update, so I've gotten pretty rusty. In good news, I started writing again and I just finished reading a book (which had a terrible ending).

As for why I've been gone so long? I can't really understand why myself. To quote one of Kakashi's famous excuses, I guess I just got lost on the path of life. I apologize and promise to stop for directions next time or take a compass maybe.

Anyways,** thank you** guys for everything! I really don't deserve any reviews, but I would really appreciate anything ya'll had to say. Hell, maybe you guys can write me some directions for my next encounter with life! Regardless, I l**ove** you guys and hope you're safe on the path of life! I wish I could wrap you all in one big bear hug, but since I can't, you will just have to imagine me awkwardly, but lovingly none the less, squeezing and twirling you around. **;D**

**~Dotti3**


End file.
